Updated: Mar 25
My life has been a crazy ride of highs and lows. I bet yours has too. Know why? Because human life is complicated!
When I look back at some of the things I've been through in the last 20 years, sometimes it feels like a movie.
I got married at 20 years old and I thought my life would play out in a certain way, (like a fairy tale)... I had a lot of idyllic plans for how things would play out.
Soon after my wedding, my marriage became very difficult…. I wondered if it was supposed to be this hard. Life felt like a battle and I was barely surviving.
Instead of talking to others or a therapist, I kept the reality of my life a secret from everyone I knew, including my closest friends and family. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
After 16 years in an abusive marriage, I divorced. I felt free…. little did I know that my struggles weren’t over.
Being single was hard too.
I remarried to a man that made me feel valued and loved, but blending families came with its own difficulties.
My ex-husband continued to make poor choices, and my children suffered.
I started to wonder if my life was just unlucky. I felt like a victim of life’s difficulties and the “difficult” people surrounding me. I was impatient with my children and didn’t know how to help them deal with the feelings they were experiencing. There were days I didn’t want to get out of bed and cried and cried. I felt worthless and incapable. I felt like all the emotional wounds were too much to handle.
But I learned something. No one and no circumstance can make me feel anything. Only I can do that. I took back my power. I turned my Wounds into Wisdom. Instead of blaming my feelings on other people, I accepted that I cannot and will not ever be able to control anything outside myself. All I can control is me. My thoughts, my feelings, and my actions. I started to look at the people in my life with curiosity and compassion. I realized that we are all on a path, and each of us is in a different place. I began to see that we are all doing the very best we can with whatever baggage we may be carrying; seen or unseen.
Now...I'm grateful for the wounds I've received on my path because I am more open-minded to the reality that every human has wounds, insecurities, and trials. No one escapes hard things. I can forgive the people in my past who have hurt me, while creating boundaries to protect myself. I love myself, and I love all the humans just living, and suffering, trying, reaching, and searching. We are all in this together.